Solace for Squirrels

Funny things that my French Canadian friend says in English:

- Cuttelry instead of cutlery (as in "damn that IKEA cuttelry is cheap!").
- Put up instead of put out (as in "I'm not putting up unless you take me out to a nice dinner").
- Come IN a building instead of come to a building (as in "I know this place - I used to come in that building a lot").

Funny things I've accidentally said in French:

- Used the wrong word to introduce people to eachother (introduire instead of presenter), which apparently implied that I wanted them to have sex and not just to get to know eachother.
- Offered my coworker Sunflower penises instead of sunflower seeds (still can't quite figure that one out)
- Wanted to say that someone had a bruise on their face, but ended up saying that they had an Eskimo on it.
- Told my friend not to worry, that the genital would soon be coming to my apartment to fix the leaky faucet.

Ah, the joys of learning a second language...

This week went by reasonably quickly. Perhaps because work kept me busy, I couldn't quite get at what was bothering me. Was it the fact that I didn't manage to get to the gym even once this week? My cat's decision to start a loud one-sided conversation with the wall at 5am? The pigeons forming a family on my balcony (they'll be buying a minivan soon, I swear)? No, it was simpler than all of that. The word of the week, I hate to say, is REJECTION. (on the topic, the banana and spoon-toting stick figure are from Don Hertzfeld's classic animated short "Rejected")

As a serial monogamist, I have managed to avoid the ups and downs of dating for most of my life. As luck would have it, I fell for guys who fell for me and off into relationship land we'd go. But perhaps I wasn't lucky at all, since I now find myself approaching 30 and having a hell of a time getting used to being shot down... a lot. I'm also completely clueless about how to properly go about doing the rejecting. I gasp when I think that I nearly ended a budding relationship with a text message today. Fortunately I sought the advice of a friend who quite rightly stated that my idea was just about as cruel as a kick in the balls (she's very direct). So I reluctantly made the dreaded phonecall, which in the end was probably the best way of handling it.

On the receiving end, I was rejected today in an email from a guy with whom I was totally smitten. I spent a few minutes wanting to bang my head against the wall, thought about which horrible chocolatey treat from the vending machine would ease my pain, then decided that I was being ridiculous. If I take each and every rejection this personally, I'm going to be a wreck in 6 months (not to mention 50 lbs overweight). A friend told me that they key is to have no expectations, and I think she's absolutely right. I was so excited about this guy that I actually believed he might still be interested after he neglected to call me for 2 weeks. Brutal! Oh well - lesson learned. Here's to developing a tougher skin and hoping that the right guy comes along sooner rather than later.

There's quite a bit of snow falling outside tonight. Enough that the snow clearing trucks have started driving up and down the streets, horns blaring, to drag people out of their cozy homes to move their cars. I remember when I first moved to Montreal and heard the snow clearing "infini-honk" for the first time. I couldn't understand why some lunatic would randomly drive through this quiet neighbourhood at ungodly hours blaring his horn - how inconsiderate! Finally one morning I got out of bed to take a look, at which point I realised that it was I and not he, that was insane. The truck was equipped with a giant plow and a flashing light. He was driving like a maniac, mind you.

Perhaps even more scary than the street plows are the "mini-plows" whose task it is to clear the sidewalks. God forbid you happen to step out of your house when one of those suckers is whipping by... SPLAT. Perhaps they feel the need to speed as compensation for their smaller equipment.

Despite the snow-clearing equipment, Montreal is beautiful in the winter. The snow has the added benefit of muting many of the usual neighbourhood sounds, so tonight is pleasantly quiet. So quiet in fact, that I will be off to bed now for a nice night's rest.