Solace for Squirrels

This week went by reasonably quickly. Perhaps because work kept me busy, I couldn't quite get at what was bothering me. Was it the fact that I didn't manage to get to the gym even once this week? My cat's decision to start a loud one-sided conversation with the wall at 5am? The pigeons forming a family on my balcony (they'll be buying a minivan soon, I swear)? No, it was simpler than all of that. The word of the week, I hate to say, is REJECTION. (on the topic, the banana and spoon-toting stick figure are from Don Hertzfeld's classic animated short "Rejected")

As a serial monogamist, I have managed to avoid the ups and downs of dating for most of my life. As luck would have it, I fell for guys who fell for me and off into relationship land we'd go. But perhaps I wasn't lucky at all, since I now find myself approaching 30 and having a hell of a time getting used to being shot down... a lot. I'm also completely clueless about how to properly go about doing the rejecting. I gasp when I think that I nearly ended a budding relationship with a text message today. Fortunately I sought the advice of a friend who quite rightly stated that my idea was just about as cruel as a kick in the balls (she's very direct). So I reluctantly made the dreaded phonecall, which in the end was probably the best way of handling it.

On the receiving end, I was rejected today in an email from a guy with whom I was totally smitten. I spent a few minutes wanting to bang my head against the wall, thought about which horrible chocolatey treat from the vending machine would ease my pain, then decided that I was being ridiculous. If I take each and every rejection this personally, I'm going to be a wreck in 6 months (not to mention 50 lbs overweight). A friend told me that they key is to have no expectations, and I think she's absolutely right. I was so excited about this guy that I actually believed he might still be interested after he neglected to call me for 2 weeks. Brutal! Oh well - lesson learned. Here's to developing a tougher skin and hoping that the right guy comes along sooner rather than later.