Solace for Squirrels

This Friday, I will be meeting up with an ex boyfriend whom I have not seen in over 5 years. Since our last meeting, he has wedded and procreated. I have adopted a cat.

I'm not quite sure how I'll react when I see him. When we last met, I was bitter. I had been a complete and utter retard in love, making far too many excuses for his very un-boyfriendly behaviour. In the end he broke my heart, then ripped it out of my chest and did a little jig (I was, needless to say, somewhat bitter at his betrayal).

But now, five years later, I'm over being angry and am mostly just curious. Curious about how seeing him again will offer insight into how much I've changed (or haven't). Ex's are often like ghosts (and I'm not talking about friendly, Casper-like one's) - you mourn them after a breakup but some part of them lingers in your periphery. I'm hoping that seeing him again will get rid of the ghost once and for all. Either that or it will completely backfire and I'll end up being a miserable wreck at the end of the evening, huddled in a blanket in the fetal position listening to James Blunt and drinking shots of vanilla vodka.

Regardless of what happens, it should be an entertaining evening. And of course, I will endeavour to look extra sexy (perhaps the CFM boots are in order) just to remind him of what he could have had. A stupid strategy, methinks, but revenge is a dish best served cold.

This past weekend, some friends and I decided to get out of town on a little ski vacation at Mt. Ste. Anne. If we'd had some sort of psychic insight into the weather before booking our chalet, we probably would have chosen ANY other weekend to book other than this one. But we didn't, and it was cold. And not just chilly. We're talking -30 (with that evil wind chill). I knew I was in trouble when, after only two runs, my left eyelid was practically frozen shut. "You have icicles on your left eye!" my friend said with a gentle chortle. The ski shop made a mint off of me as I soon purchased not only new goggles, but new gloves and warmer socks as well. Despite spending too much money, I certainly felt better on the slopes after donning my new purchases. It pays to dress warm and be prepared.

And since this crazy winter weather is here for at least a little while, I thought I'd check out the Canada Safety council's recommendations on cold weather:

1. Wear a warm hat. Most body heat is lost through the head (check. I think this one's a no-brainer).
2. Wear layered clothing. Proper layers will allow warm air to stay trapped but do not trap perspiration next to the skin. (I recommend wrapping yourself in cellophane then in a tight garbage bag - really great for breathability and perspiration)
3. Protect your feet and hands. Wear loose waterproof boots. Mittens warm the hands more effectively than gloves. (I got gloves with mitten outsides and fingers inside - a wonderful combo)
4. Prevent dehydration and exhaustion, which can lead to hypothermia. Drink plenty of non-alcoholic fluids. Pace yourself when doing vigorous activity (like drinking copious amounts of alcoholic fluids).
5. Stay fit through good physical conditioning and good nutrition. Try to stay in a heated environment, but not so hot as to cause excessive sweating. You risk hypothermia when you seek to cool down by leaving a hot environment for a cool one. (like leaving the fireside at the chalet to run drunk and naked through the snow?)
6. Eat high energy food, such as nuts and raisins. (can also tote emergency squirrel trained to search surroundings for said nuts and raisins)
7. Avoid alcohol, coffee, tea and tobacco. They can cause heat loss. (sigh...)

So now you know. And knowing, says G.I. Joe, is half the battle.

In a somewhat (or totally) futile attempt at creativity, I shall now write a poem using only song titles from my itunes collection.

One day
All is full of love...
Violently happy, let forever be.

Possibly maybe
All I want is you.

But
I'm no angel,
We're not right.

In the end there's no need to argue.
It's easier to walk away.