Solace for Squirrels

When I mentioned to my friends that my upcoming date was with an online stranger from a town called Chateaugay, three of them cringed. They wouldn't give any specifics on why I shouldn't go; simply that the odds my dreamdate would come from there were slim to none.

Next time, I'll listen to them.

I ordered a beer and sat down at the designated meeting spot. After waiting for about 20 minutes, he finally arrived. After a few minutes of generic banter, he proceeded to talk about his stunning chest (which was anything but), his myriad of psychotic ex girlfriends (one of whom was apparently a lesbian, but the sex was so good with him that she made an exception), and his recovery from a recent nervous breakdown. The discussion went on to topics such as why he could never trust a French Canadian girlfriend (apparently because all of his F-C friends' girlfriends want to sleep with him), and how the only nice girl he's met (apart from me) was his cute german cousin who came to visit a few years ago.

I haven't communicated with him since, although he did send an email offering his "services" if I was ever interested.

Yes, Klassy with a capital K. The moral of the story: listen to your friends, and stay far, far away from boys from Gay Castle.