Solace for Squirrels

Do you ever have one of those days where despite your best efforts, you end up feeling like a moron? I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. I do have a horrible memory (abysmal, really), but apart from that I can function fairly well on a day to day basis. There are times, however, where I surprise even myself with my stupidity. It's great when these particular moments of insanity have no witnesses, but often (malheureusement) they do.

I rented a car this weeked to drive to Ottawa. Intead of getting the Yaris that I had ordered, I was "upgraded" to a behemoth Dodge Charger. The thing is so huge that I nearly took out the parking attendant and a couple of pedestrians on the way out of the lot. In any event, after 30 minutes on the highway I had to stop for gas (the beast had guzzled a quarter of a tank already). When I pulled up to the pump, I quickly started looking around for the latch/button for the gas tank. I hunted around in all of the usual places to no avail. I saw a pedal that looked like it had potential, but wasn't marked. In fact, that was for the hood (fuck...). I managed to open the trunk (fantastic.). Frustrated, I then turned to the manual and looked under "gas tank". I learned all about the car's fuel capacity, efficiency (lack thereof) and where to find the tank. Nothing about how open the bloody thing though. I finally conceded that I needed help, so went over to the attendant on the full-service side. I explained that I had rented a boat, and had no idea how to open the gas tank. He smiled a toothless smile, walked over to the gas tank, and opened the hatch. "Dees ones don't lock, you see". Fuck.... FUCK FUCK. I felt, like, SO SUPER SMART. "Ahhhhh." I said, "well that's very interesting. Thanks so much. "

So there you have it. I'm allowed to be an illegal retard every once in a while, no?